Colonel Moseley takes a Haiku
I happened upon the poetry section which, as you might imagine, isn’t something I’ve done since the obligatory doses of Wordsworth and Tennyson at the old alma mater of my youth.
One slim tome in the bargain bin caught my eye. On the cover it had a picture of a pagoda in front of Mount Fuji, entitled The Art of Haiku.
It seems a haiku is a poem or epigram that has to have precisely seventeen syllables and be in only three lines of five, seven and five syllables respectively, no more, no less.
As an aficionado of Carol Vorderman and sudoku, this mathematical angle appealed. This was particularly so when it occurred that the haikus didn’t have to be very zen or concern snow slipping off the branches of willow trees or the wistful allure of the geisha.
I bought the little book and took it home. Having learned all that can be realistically expected of a chap of my age of this precise form, here are some first efforts with a contemporary Moseley twist:-
Just like a haiku,
Loving you is short, sweet and
Rather hard to do.
HAIKU: Miss Pargeter’s confessional
In my pew in church
I fancy making love to
Frank - and then Nancy.
HAIKU: end of the affair
For fornication – oft ends
HAIKU: adieu syd barrett #1 ~ after e.j.thribb
Farewell then Syd - not
Sid James – the one they called a
HAIKU: adieu syd barrett #2~ after chas 'n dave
Both Chas 'n Dave wave
’n rabbit: Gertcha, crazy
Though "fifty" rhymed with
"Nifty" on my birthday card -
It was really hard.
Being told to go
And stubbing your toe hurt -but
You're too proud to show.
HAIKU: confession #1
I'm not a treasure;
I’m broody, moody and quite
Unlike Dame Judi.
My only real vice
Is Countdown with a Mister
Kipling Country Slice
So, subjects for haikus can be more Oxford Road than The Road to Mandalay. They can range from daydreams to love and from the bittersweet to the confessional; they aren’t necessarily eastern or epigrammatic. Pip, pip!
*A version of this article has also appeared in Birmingham 13